1.2.1.13 Pay attention

My mother was a wonderful woman. As a child, I remember that as I would go out to play with my friends, my mother would call after me… in my Italian name, “Pasquale, pay attention when you cross the road. If you get hit by a truck, don’t you come crying to me! Pay attention!”

I also remember how one of my teachers, Mrs Bird, would come up behind me in class while I was busy daydreaming and she would slam her hand down on my desk and shout, “Pat Mesiti, pay attention!” My mother and Mrs Bird both understood a powerful principle in developing a millionaire mindset: the principle of focus.

Sometimes when I travel I get back cramps. One day I was in Singapore and I went to Lucky Plaza where there are a number of shops that sell electronic goods. One salesman was selling an electronic massager that you can wear as pads on your body. “This is very good for massage,” he informed me. “But only use it for ten minutes a day—very dangerous.” He pulled out a photo of Bruce Lee. “Bruce Lee used this machine to build muscle,” he said.

I was sold! “Give me two of those,” I said.

On the plane back to Sydney, I thought to myself, “I have a seven-hour flight from Singapore to Sydney. I can look like Bruce Lee by the time I get off the plane.” So I went into the lavatory and placed the electronic pads onto my stomach under my shirt. I was traveling with one of my daughters on that flight. We’d been upgraded, so there I was, sitting next to my unsuspecting daughter with a glass of champagne in my hand.

Now, there were three levels of intensity on the massage machine: low, medium and high. Those people who know me know that I am not a low intensity kind of person. And to me, ‘medium’ is another word for average, and I never want to be that! So I went straight to the ‘high’ setting. So I pushed the power button... All of a sudden I was screaming in agony and crying, “Someone take this machine off me!!” Needless to say, my daughter was mortified. Her only comment was, “I’m so not here!” I learned a very important lesson on that flight. You see, I wanted the Bruce Lee six-pack without having to focus on getting it. I’m into down-sizing—instead of the six-pack, I’ve chosen a 1-pack! I’ve learned that focus involves time and sustained effort; there are no shortcuts to lasting prosperity. Focus is a discipline and, as such, it needs to be developed. To have a millionaire mindset, we need to learn how to keep our minds focused on whatever it is that we want. Your mind is like a muscle. Just as regular exercise and physical exertion build and strengthen our muscles, the mind is strengthened by focus. For muscles to grow, they must be exercised and fed. You have to focus on them in order for them to increase. If you want to see increased wealth or progress in any area of your life, you must keep your focus on what you want and not allow distractions to rule you. Whatever you feed will grow, and whatever you starve will die. Successful people know how to keep their focus firmly and clearly on their desired ends.

Once you’ve figured out exactly what you want, the next challenge is to stay focused on it. It is impossible to achieve what you want if your attention is constantly being distracted all over the place. Focus requires specialization. We need to stay with our main game. Focus gives you an edge, because the longer you work at something, the better you get at it.

Focus is made up of a number of factors:

• F – Forward planning
• O – Overcoming distractions
• C – Committing to a plan
• U – Understanding your objectives
• S – Sustaining effort.

Whatever you feed will grow, and whatever you starve will die. Successful people know how to keep their focus firmly and clearly on their desired ends.

Forward Planning: Know exactly what you want in life. Begin to plan how it is going to happen. Have a long-term and medium-term plan, but also have a plan for today. If you don’t plan your day, your day will have a mind of its own. Think what needs to be done today to keep you on track. Then stick to your plan.

Overcoming distractions: Anything that draws your attention away from what you are trying to achieve is a distraction. Life is full of them. What are the things that easily distract you? Be aware of what the main distractions are in your life. Understand your propensity to be distracted. What is it that typically distracts you at the most important time? Be alert and prepare yourself not to be distracted. Wherever possible, remove the source of distraction.

Committing to a plan: Be committed to your plan. Keep yourself accountable. Make a ‘to do’ list and priorities everything on it. Someone once said they often feel like a mosquito at a nudist colony—so much to do, but they don’t know where to start! There is always a lot to do. Priorities what you need to do, make a plan to get it done, and commit to your plan.

Understanding your objectives: As well as knowing ‘what’, we also need to know ‘why’. In my own life, it’s not just a matter of knowing that I want to be prosperous, it’s also about knowing why I want to be prosperous. Know the answer to the questions “Why am I here?” and “What am I here to do?” Have clearly defined objectives.

Sustaining effort: Nothing worthwhile comes without significant effort. Anything worth having is worth working for. As a well known advertisement says, “It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen.” Don’t give up. Don’t get discouraged. Keep working at it—that’s what leads to success.

Prosperity won’t happen in a day, it will happen daily

When I was running my drug rehabilitation centre, many young men would come into our program and say, “I want to get off drugs, man!”

I would respond by saying, “Fantastic! Once you have qualified to enter our program, we will look after you, feed you, clothe you, pay for your medical expenses, get your teeth fixed, educate you, teach you a trade so that when you graduate you can enter into a business opportunity and create for yourself a future. We’ll make sure you have a mentor who works alongside you. We’ll make sure you get the most outstanding counselor we can find. However, here’s what I want you to do: For nine months your life belongs to me. You will get up at 6am every morning. At 7am your bed will be made, your teeth will be brushed, and you will have shaved and showered and dressed ready for the day. You will sit for breakfast at 7 o’clock—not 7:07am—7am! After that you will wash up and dry up the dishes. You will learn how to work as a team. At 9am you will enter into some therapy. You will learn about yourself while you do what you do. At 10.30 you will have morning tea. After that you will go back to class. At 12 o’clock you will sit down for lunch. After lunch, you will learn a trade or a skill for four or five hours. When you come back, you will give us a urine sample—just to make sure that you have kept yourself clean. You will have someone stand and watch you provide that sample because we don’t want you swapping it with someone else’s sample.

After that you will go for a work–out. You will then sit down for dinner—on time, showered and ready to enjoy a good meal and some fellowship. You will then make a phone call to your mother or your father, or to anyone you have lied to, ripped off, or used and abused, and you will make restitution as much as you possibly can. The lights go out at 9.30pm. You will go to bed at 9.30 sharp – not 9.40 or even 9.35. You will be up the next morning at 6am ready to face the new day. This is your life for nine months.”

On hearing that schedule, some young guys would think, I don’t want to get off drugs now! Here is the problem: Those young men did not want to focus. They wanted an instant fix. So often people come up to me at the end of a meeting as I am getting into my car, looking forward to some personal time after pouring my heart out to audiences, and they say, “Pat, can I have a minute of your time?” Then they unload years of problems and want me to solve them immediately. My friend, they don’t want to focus. They just want a quick fix. Prosperity does not come in an instant, it comes daily. What you do daily determines what you are permanently. Prosperity doesn’t happen in a day, but it can happen daily, and it requires your focus.

For real and lasting change to happen in your life, you have to be prepared to stay focused on your goal. If you want to be prosperous, you have to stay focused on the things that will lead you into prosperity. It’s amazing how many people change their perspective or lose their desire because they lose focus. Ultimately, your life will go in the direction of your focus. People don’t really decide their future, they decide their focuses and habits. It’s their focuses and their habits that will decide their future.

A few years ago I was building my dream home and I took it upon myself to be the master gardener. My father was an outstanding gardener. He could grow anything. In fact, he grew some plants he shouldn’t have grown, but I won’t go there! So I planted some flowers and trees. But after a year I noticed they weren’t growing. One day I was with a group of friends and I began to lament that the soil around my house wasn’t as fertile as the soil at my father’s house when I was growing up. One of my friends said to me, “I don’t understand it, Pat. I live near you and the plants in my garden are growing and flourishing. Have you watered the plants?”

I suddenly realized that I hadn’t watered my plants. I had wanted them to grow by themselves. I had forgotten that for plants to flourish, they need sunlight—which my garden had, they need the right soil—which my garden had, and they needed watering—which my garden did not have! I had not focused on my garden. I had wanted results, I had wanted the fruit, but I had not provided the focus required for a flourishing garden. I had not paid attention to my garden.

Focus can be incredibly powerful. It can help you overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles and bring about change in the face of what might seem like overwhelming adversity. I was once talking to a woman who had been through seven marriages (she was obviously very good at it!). I asked her, “What is the one thing those seven marriages had in common?”

Her answer was very telling. “Men!” she said. “Abusive men.”

I knew there was something else going on here, so I asked her to tell me her history. It turned out that she had been brought up by an abusive alcoholic father. Then when she grew up, she met a guy who had a few challenges, but she thought she’d sort him out once she married him. So she ended up marrying an abusive, alcoholic wife-beater. She eventually got divorced and then married one of his friends. (What is it they say about ‘birds of a feather’?) Over the following years, every one of her husbands was an abusive man. After hearing her story, I asked her this question: “When are you going to stop trying to rescue daddy?” You see, that’s what she was trying to do. She was focused on her past experience with her father and her life was following the direction of her focus. Be aware of where your wrong thinking comes from.

Learn to value results

We live in a results-oriented culture. People will generally judge you or accept you on the basis of one thing: results. Prosperity is about results. If I didn’t know how to prosper and have some results, I wouldn’t be in a position to write this book. I have learnt to value results. I want results. Some people say, “I just want to be happy.” But what does that mean? Where’s the tangible result in that? Others will say, “I want peace.” What does that mean? You and I need to define what we want so that there is a measurable result attached to it. Otherwise, how will we know when we’ve achieved our goals?

If you are married or in a long-term relationship, remember how much you focused when you were first dating your partner? Men, you bought her a present on Valentines Day, Christmas Day and on her birthday. You even remembered her mother’s birthday! As a matter of fact, you even had a shower before you went out! Remember how you opened and closed the car door for her, and you made sure you were on your best behavior. Then after a few months you dreamed about running along the beach in slow motion together! You dreamed about spending your lives together.

Ladies, he then asked you the big question: Will you marry me? And you said, “Yes!”

Then there was the honeymoon. Man, you focused then! Five or six years later, he became the fastest remote controller in your city! He began to shout out orders from the grumpy chair: “Where’s my food? Where’s my drink? Where’s my shirt?” He expected you to be his maid while he flicked through the TV channels. At 9 o’clock at night he sat up in bed ready for a little bit of sugar! Of course, you responded, “What are you thinking, dude! That ain’t never gonna happen!”

Somehow, he has lost his focus. If you’re a lady, right now you’re probably thinking, That’s right, Pat! You tell him!

Well, ladies, it’s now your turn. Remember when you were first dating? You were so fit! You looked after yourself! You had the Jane Fonda video playing. You watched everything you ate, because you knew that a moment on the lips was a moment on the hips! After five years of marriage and three kids, you became Krispy Kreme queen!

You’ll never prosper in what you constantly blame

Now we have a problem! You’ve both lost your focus. All you do now is complain about how life used to be. And you both complain about what you are not doing. And what do you keep getting more of? You keep getting more of the same. If you focus on the negative, that’s all you’ll keep getting. Remember, you will never prosper in what you constantly blame. You’ve got to shift your focus. And rather than focus on what you don’t have, focus on what you do have. And then we go to the marriage counselor and he says to the wife, “Ma’am, do you have anything you want to talk about?”

“Oh, yes!” she responds quickly. “I have a list!” So she gets out her list of complaints. Why? Because women remember everything!

Then the counselor turns to the husband, “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

He looks bewildered and says, “I didn’t even realize there was a problem!”

“But sir,” the counselor responds, “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, there is one thing I want to talk about,” the husband says. My friend, I’m sure you can guess what the husband wants to talk about… Yes, you guessed it: sex! He thinks the problem is sex.

Both of these two people have a list. She has a long list and he has a short list. The problem isn’t what’s on the list, the problem is that there is a list. And while they are focused on that list, that’s all they are ever going to get.

Three kids later and she has stopped caring about how she looks. Somehow, over the years they’ve both lost their focus. They’ve stopped focusing on all the things that brought them together and instead they’re focused on all the things that will keep them apart.

I was once helping a married couple who were doing just that—they were focusing on everything that was wrong and fighting tooth and nail. I took them into separate rooms and told each of them to write down on a piece of paper what it was that they had loved about the other before they were married. Then I brought them back into the same room and sat them down facing each other. I told him to tell her what he’d written. Before he could get through about five or six points, he became teary, and she was a mess too. As they were both crying, I told her to tell him what she had written. She was too emotional to get through the list.

You’ll never prosper in what you constantly neglect

Focus on what’s right, not on what’s wrong. Whatever you focus on will progress and whatever you neglect will regress. Many people get sick because they neglect their bodies through smoking, poor eating habits, lack of exercise, or not enough sleep. But a change of focus can turn around years of neglect. If someone in poor physical condition decides to focus on becoming healthy, then change will happen. As they give up smoking, start eating well, begin exercising regularly and generally begin to live a wholesome lifestyle, their physical condition begins to improve. Why? Because you get what you focus on.

So often we create around ourselves an environment of neglect. Consider for a moment the room you are in right now. I’m assuming that your room is in a reasonable state of order, cleanliness and repair. But if you were simply to leave the room right now and not come back into it for a number of years, do you think that room would be in the same condition on your return? Of course not. There will be dust and cobwebs everywhere, the furniture and curtains will have faded, the paint may have started flaking here and there, and there will probably be some evidence of vermin around the room. The room’s condition will have deteriorated simply through neglect. It’s the same with our lives. If we neglect some part of our world, then that area will regress. So many people fail to focus on what they want and they do nothing about it. Then later they wonder why they always seem to be going backwards in life.

We need to destroy the mind viruses that are crippling us. One of the most prevalent mental afflictions is called ‘distraction’. Distraction is the number one enemy of focus. There are so many things out there vying for your attention, but most of them are nothing more than distractions that will take your focus off the things you should be giving your attention to.

Thomas Fuller, chaperone of Charles II of England, once observed, “He that is everywhere is nowhere.” In order to achieve anything, you need to focus on a target. Distractions put distance between you and your goal. They interrupt your progress. They cause you to stray from the path that is leading you to your goals. They encourage your mind to wander. They lead you into forming bad habits and reverting to old habits that will hold you back. They cause you to expend your energy non-productively. They make you time poor. Above all, they destroy your focus.

Another enemy of focus is the ‘I want results and I want them now’ mindset. Almost 99.9 percent of the time that’s not how things work. Focus involves time, effort, energy and input. It requires that you be single-minded. If you desire financial growth, business growth, success growth, wealth growth or relational growth but you are not prepared to put in the necessary time and effort to develop your mind muscle through sustained focus on your desired goals, then you will hinder your progress towards prosperity.

The environment surrounding your mind will determine your success

If you want prosperity in your life, you have to start focusing. You need to create an environment for focus in your life. Your mind will function better if you create the right environment around it. It’s your responsibility to create the environment you desire—whether for your business, your home or your relationships. You see, the environment you create around your mind will determine your success. Removing or learning to ignore distractions is part of this process. But you also need to put in place in your world certain practices and principles that will develop an environment around you that is conducive to staying focused and to sharpening your mind.

You have to get your mind under control. Your mind is your greatest asset. Give it some attention. Most people’s income shrinks to the level of their mindset. Focus on putting some stuff in your mind that will enlarge your mindset. My car is a rolling university of success. Whenever I’m on the road, I listen to successful people teaching me about success. I’m always reading too. I always have a book in my briefcase. If you want to prosper, you have to learn to think a certain way. Feed your mind with the kind of material that will help keep you focused. How many books do you read each month? How much motivational or educational material do you listen to? Do you have success mentors helping you to create an environment for wealth creation around your mind? In what ways are you developing and strengthening your mind so that when wealth and prosperity come your way, you will know exactly what to do? You have to focus on creating an environment around you that encourages and promotes the pursuit of success and prosperity.

In what ways are you developing and strengthening your mind so that when wealth and prosperity come your way, you will know exactly what to do?

You will never possess something that you are unwilling to pursue. Focus requires clarity and specificity. You need to be pursuing not just some abstract ideal but something tangible—a specific amount, a certain type of relationship, a certain position or opportunity. Think about what kind of people you want to have in your world. Even go as far as thinking which specific individuals with whom you’d like to build an association. Pursue relationships with people who are ahead of you, more skilled than you, more intelligent that you, and more creative than you. Being around people like that will help take you to another level.

You’ll never possess what you are unwilling to pursue

Prosperity has to be actively pursued. That’s what focus is all about—relentless pursuit. Here are a few general things you must focus on pursuing in order to become more prosperous:

• Excellence
• Integrity
• The wellbeing of others
• Positive acquaintances
• Knowledge.

Another important principle in developing focus is to pay attention to your attitudes. One particular trap to watch out for is the trap of complacency. Many people who have reached a certain level of success make the mistake of becoming familiar or comfortable with their success or their level of success. They say familiarity breeds contempt. But in this context, familiarity breeds regression and failure. Familiarity can manifest in a number of ways—as arrogance, as over confidence, as a loss of passion, a lack of care, or as presumption. Great sports people or teams are often beaten by relatively lowly ranked opposition because of familiarity.

Focus also requires that we have an understanding of the ‘big picture’. While it’s important to stay focused on the details and the small things that may seem insignificant, ultimately no one is motivated by details. It’s the big picture that keeps us motivated. In my book Attitudes and Altitudes, I speak about the difference between ‘whats’ and ‘whys’. ‘Whats’ are the tasks you have to do to pursue prosperity—the calls you need to make, the people you need to meet, the books you need to read, the deals you need to close, and so on. Often the ‘whats’ can be menial or mundane. That’s why the ‘whys’ are so important. The ‘whys’ are all about vision. They are what drive you and motivate you. You need to stay focused on the big picture. You need to have a grand vision that provides a broad context for every decision, every choice and every strategy along the way. Your vision also provides a framework for learning and for your relationships.

Look at the big picture, but don’t ignore the details

So focus is all about maintaining an awareness of the big picture while simultaneously not taking your eyes off the details. Alvin Poplar put it this way: “You have got to think about the big things while you are doing the small things so that all the small things go in the right direction.”

Focus means sticking with something to its completion.

In his book Thinking for a Change, Dr John C. Maxwell makes some great points about unleashing the potential of focused thinking. He identifies the following benefits of maintaining focus:

• Focus harnesses energy towards a desired goal
• Focus gives ideas time to develop
• Focus brings clarity to the target
• Focus will take you to the next level.

Focus means sticking with something to its completion. Harry A. Overstreet once stated, “The immature mind hops from one thing to the other; the mature mind seeks to follow through.” It requires discipline and concentration. As Bertrand Russell said, “To be able to concentrate for a considerable time is essential to difficult achievement.”

In his book Focus— The Future of Your Company Depends On It, Al Ries offers a great illustration of the difference between focus and lack of focus. He describes how the sun is a powerful source of energy. Every hour the sun washes the earth with billions of kilowatts of energy. Yet with a hat and some sunscreen, you can bathe in the light of the sun for hours at a time with few ill effects. A laser, on the other hand, is a weak source of energy. A laser takes a few watts of energy and focuses them in a coherent stream of light. But with a laser you can drill a hole in a diamond or wipe out a cancer. That’s the power of focus. Unleash the power of focused thinking and you will reap the results.

CHALLENGE: Pay attention to what you want to prosper

Start focusing now if you want prosperity in your life. Discipline your mind. Recognize distractions when they come your way and resist them. Realize that your mind is your greatest asset. Give it some attention. Feed it with great books and positive audio tapes. Whenever you are in your car, listen to successful people teach you principles and attitudes of success. If you want a higher income, a better marriage, or a larger business, then you have to learn to think a certain way. So make a decision today to start focusing!

To develop a millionaire mindset, you need to stay focused on creating wealth, on prosperity, on your business, or on creating the right kind of thinking about yourself and your world.

Here are eight key areas of focus that I believe are important for anyone aspiring to become prosperous:

• Focus on yourself.
• Focus on your communication skills—including your posture, your facial expressions, your tact and diplomacy, and your attitude.
• Focus on your area of expertise—become an expert at what you do best.
• Focus on knowing people—your client base, for example. Know what motivates them. Know their dreams and desires, and know what they want from life.
• Focus on your strengths—maximize your effectiveness. A few years ago, the USA and China faced off in the world table-tennis championships. The Chinese won overwhelmingly. When they interviewed the coach of the Chinese team afterwards, they asked him how it was that his team was able to beat the opposition so convincingly. He said the difference was in what the two teams focused on. He observed that the Americans’ approach was to find someone with a good backhand and train him to try and have a good forehand, whereas the Chinese approach was to take a player with a good backhand and match him up with someone who had a good forehand so they could work off each other’s strengths. In other words, they focused on their strengths, not their weaknesses.
• Focus on follow-through—one of the greatest keys to success is following up clients and following up on what you said you would do.
• Focus on developing momentum—momentum creates and builds energy for future success.
• Focus on being persuasive—people are persuaded when you show them how they will be advantaged, not how you will be advantaged. To create wealth and prosperity, you must learn the art of positive persuasion. This requires focus.

Developing a millionaire mindset requires a focused mind. Spend some time each day forcing yourself to focus your mind on the things that matter in your world.